Top 10 supply chain jokes

BillDuBois

Top 10 supply chain jokes.  Apologies in advance if you find this offensive.  I do believe there is value in forecasting…

  1. What do you get if you play a supply chain country song backwards? You get your revenue back, you get your margin back, you get your on-time deliver back…
  2. How many supply chain planners does it take to change a light bulb? None, the light bulbs are late.
  3. What’s the difference between big foot and an accurate forecast? Big foot has been sighted.
  4. Why is it better to have a woman as the buyer? Because a male buyer will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  5. Why is it better to have a man as the buyer? Because a female buyer will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t need but is on sale.
  6. The easiest way to find that missing inventory is to place a new PO.
  7. Demand forecasters are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  8. Employer: “For this buyer’s job, we need someone who is responsible.”
    Applicant: “I’m the one you want. In my last procurement job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.”
  9. If you’re a supplier and you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of delivery dates.
  10. There are two theories to getting an accurate forecast. Neither one works.
BillDuBois

Bill DuBois has enjoyed over 20 years with Kinaxis in a number of roles including his current position as Director of Product and Marketing Content. Prior to his move to Marketing, Bill was a Senior Business Consultant providing pre-sales support to the Kinaxis Sales Team. This included developing and delivering “stand-out” product demonstrations, delivering ROI analysis and conducting pilot projects for prospective customers. Prior to joining Kinaxis, Bill gained 12 years of manufacturing, supply chain and lean experience while with Boeing of Canada. Bill is APICS CPIM certified. And as a qualified APICS instructor, Bill has developed and delivered APICS courses in material planning, master scheduling, capacity management and just-in-time. Bill has also developed and delivered Lean education and training packages for all levels of personnel. Bill studied Electronics Technology at Algonquin College in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Bill is also the host of our home-grown Stevie Award Winning Late Late Supply Chain Show. The Late Late Supply Chain Show videos can be found on the Just for Laughs section of the Supply Chain Expert Community. With top-ten list in hand, Bill keys up his late show antics appealing to a broad base of supply chain professionals — those who can laugh at the chaos of their daily lives. Bill has won the plaudits of critics — all one of them – and has proven himself in the ratings — first in Late Late Supply Chain shows! And Bill won’t stop until “this order has been filled.” Check him out for yourself!

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Discussions

  1. Great jokes Bill, but having been a production planner dealing with shortages regularly I have to say #2 is my favorite!

  2. A new comment! Maybe we should keep the list going, here is number 11.

    A planner says the Demand Manager, “what do you like most, my new forecast or my inventory projections?” The Demand Manager looks at all the Excel spreadsheets and replies, “I like your sense of humor.”

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