A Collection of Bad Supply Chain Poems

AlexaCheater

supply chain poetry bookYes, you read that title right. In honor of Bad Poetry Day I asked my colleagues to send me their best (and worst!) supply chain-related sonnets, odes, limericks, haikus – well you get the point. It turns out I work with quite a creative crowd.

Now keep in mind this is BAD poetry day. So if you’re looking for Shakespeare quality prose, I suggest you just keep on looking. Without further ado, enjoy these supply chain poems written by Kinaxis staff just for you!

 

An Ode to Supply Chains
By Alexa Cheater

O supply chain, how I do appreciate thee,
always working hard to bring things to me.

From raw goods to finished, and everything in-between,
your complexities are many, especially when you’re lean.

Don’t let anyone dismiss you or belittle your worth,
because without you supply chain, nothing could ever circumvent the Earth!

 

Supply Chain on the Brain
By Lori Smith

I’ve got supply chain on the brain
I’m trying to stay sane
Amid my supply-demand pain
I don’t want to plan in vain
So I need to refrain
From forcing only one lane
Go against the grain
The key is to bend and change
Flexibility without strain
Old supply chain models slained!
My determination will not wane

 

Carl I
By Maddy Knuth

Carl was an Inventory Manager
Who knew he was better than amateur.

So he suggested RapidResponse,
To see the metrics he wants,
And now he can reset parameters.

 

Carl II
By Aswin Aristama

PLANning to reduce inventory by 10%,
Carl, the inventory manager, DOes it using RapidResponse.

CHECKing on the status of the inventory reduction,
His boss is impressed by Carl’s ACTions, so he says,

“Carl, thanks for your rapid response!”

 

Laments of a Master Scheduler
By Taunya MacDonald

Orders come in, supply goes out.
Not enough here, too much there, all around me they shout.

A Master Scheduler I am and not a friend I can make.
A better solution I need, oh for goodness sake!

But alas what is this? A hero is on the way!
It’s RapidResponse come to save the day!

I could do this, I could do that.
Create scenarios and compare, it’s done in seconds flat.

So things have changed, and everything is great.
Ask me your questions, my answers are never late!

RapidResponse lets me know sooner, act faster, that’s what it’s all about.
Now work is done let’s go for beers, I’ve got friends and we are heading out.

 

Excerpt from “The tragedy of the Inventory Planner, prince of Warehousemark”, Act III
By Alvaro Fernandez

To stock, or not to stock, that is the question:
Whether ’tis Planner in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous forecasts,
Or to take charts against a sea of wastes,
and by responding end them: to hide, to grieve
no more; and on the cheap, to say we end
the headache, and the casual stock-out

 

The Rise of the Inventory Planner
By Andrew Dunbar

O’ Inventory planner; thy reactive ways
Cause grief and suffering to
Finance and customers alike.
When in disgrace in fortune and men’s eyes1
Tis of importance to remind thyself that
‘I am the master of my fate’2

Arm thyself with the tools of the trade;
Dashboard metrics and scorecards: combine.
Once inventory forecasts and plans are laid
To err is human; to Rapidly Respond, devine! 3

1 – Shakespeare
2 – W.E. Henley
3 – A. Pope

 

A Wicked Good Limerick

By Kerry Currier

There once was an Inventory Manager from Boston
Who needed some excess from Austin
With Rapid Response he could see a great transfer opportunity
Shipping was all that it cost him

 

Scenario Hindsight
By Steve McStravick

Inventory Low,
Supplier lead-time too long,
Should have used “What ifs”.

 

RapidResponse Haikus
By Karen Morrison

System requirements changes for users

Requirements change.
No IE seven or eight.
No Java seven.

Display a profile picture

Upload a picture.
It appears in messages
And on your contact card.

Find resources using global resource tags

Administrators
Can apply blue global tags
To shared resources.

Scenarios no longer need unique names

Your scenarios
Do not need unique names now.
See the release notes.

Reorder columns in a worksheet

Rearrange columns
In any type of worksheet
Except for crosstab.

Drill to a form

With a single click”
You can open a form now
From a worksheet link.

Workbook command logging and enhancements

Errors might occur
But commands can still proceed.
The results are logged.

Enhanced collaboration with contact cards

Click a contact card
To share a scenario
Or send a message.

Run a command to open a form

On workbook toolbars
Custom buttons can launch forms.
Commands button, too.

Dynamic forms

Forms might give feedback
And hide or deactivate
Irrelevant fields.

Send links to forms

Now, send links to forms.
Help colleagues to complete tasks –
Link the form they need.

Using key fields in a table to customize filters

Tables can now have
Many key fields. For filters,
Choose the one you want.

 

Kinaxis
By Joe Cannata

Kinaxis you’re fast
Our business is growing
The woes in the past
Big profits are flowing

Supplies on the move
We respond right away
Production does groove
IT leads the way

Oh RapidResponse
You so fill our need
Our profits are up
Shareholders succeed

We’re stronger each day
Your data we use
To reshape the way
Our brand does not lose

 

Missed Deliveries
By Susan O’Loughlin

Blizzard on East Coast
Planes are grounded on tarmac
No Christmas presents

 

The Transformation
By Emily Fisk

There once was a man named Manning
Who performed Sales & Operations Planning.
He lacked the support and information required, so sadly
He performed it very badly.

He worked in a silo without anyone with whom to collaborate
Without help, many problems he did exacerbate.
Spending his days frustrated, fighting fire after fire,
He couldn’t wait until the day he could retire.

On a bright sunny day, he stumbled upon RapidResponse
The answer to his prayers, the eliminator of nonchalance
All supply chain information and simulation in one place?!
Silos and fires disappeared without a trace

While supply chain disruptions still happen on a daily basis
Reaction to change resembles a state of homeostasis
Now the days of Sales & Operations Planning
Are infinitely better for the man named Manning

 

AlexaCheater

As the Product Marketing Manager at Kinaxis, Alexa helps develop and deliver informative, engaging and entertaining supply chain content that also works to promote how Kinaxis RapidResponse is revolutionizing supply chain planning. She joined Kinaxis in 2015 with more than a decade of communications experience. Alexa holds a Bachelor of Journalism (Honors) from the University of King’s College in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

More blog posts by Alexa Cheater

Leave a Reply